A Year of Service

 This last weekend I was able to look back with friends at the wonderful year I had with the Vincentian Volunteers. Looking back I can see that there are many elements to this year that have remained always with me. These I can now see and after reflection have shaped my life since this most formative year. From this year I went on to train for the priesthood and became a priest. After 16 years I left ministry and now try my best to live my Christian values and life in the world. In a recent upgrade to my CV I realised that my whole adult life has been in some sort of service to others and usually to the most vulnerable and those on the fringes of society. From working in Top Shop to ministry to the Hospital to the work I now do in education. This all stems from this year I had with the community and putting Love in action. Yes I have made mistakes on the way and my human frailty has been evident but this life was never going to easy and straight forward. 

When I look back on that year I remember getting on the train at Newbury Park station heading to North London and Mill Hill. I remember sitting on the train both excited and scared. It was the first time I had ever lived away from home.  I went with both excitement and a certain amount of uncertainty. This is the first lesson from this year that I maybe in my own life now need to revisit. Over the last year since leaving my old job for a few months until I found a new job, and as I write, preparing for the job to start, I realise that I need to rediscover the gift of uncertainly. In Ministry life was certain. You got up you prayed you said Mass and you got on with the day. There was a lot of uncertainty especially being a hospital Chaplain but, you had the certainty of wearing the collar  ( the uniform.) We never knew when we worked with school groups or with the Homeless what was going to happen it was exciting and challenging. I feel that we need to embrace the uncertainty of life:  

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn't uncertainty. It's openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.” 
― Tony Schwartz

I am reminded from that year that the world still has possibilities that we learn everyday about ourselves  and about others everyday is full of uncertainty and so we need to embrace that with a new heart. I am reminded to Jesus who said that we must become like little children full of wonder and full of wonder and ore at the world with all its colour. 

During the pandemic we all had to Stay at home many of us only went out to the shops or for a walk. We may have clapped for the NHS but the one thing that happened was the closer of churches. This repudiated to other community events. We were made to keep a distance from people.

 For many, community was broken. Why do I mention this? For me one of the most important elements was community. The aspect of community living was very important. We were very lucky because we had both the Vincentian Fathers and the daughters of charity living with us. We learnt a lot from just watching them and being among them as they tried their best to live in community.  We had our own very special community of living in a converted chicken shed with a very unstable caravan next door. Because of my heart I was In the main house. The community aspect is where we prayed, reflected sometimes argued but most immortally laughed and had fun together.  We could in a safe space try out different things, even different drinks, we knew that if we had an argument or fell out with each other that the love we had for each other would, sometimes, in time, sort it out.

 Remember this was before social media so we relied on each other and helped each other through the ups and downs of life. I suspect that this is one thing that I learnt the most in that year. We had to learn to live together and understand each other and therefore got to know each other so very well. Learning from this experience we need to learn to live and build community. Living that year gave me the ability to know how to share and learn a lot about ourselves and out own strengths and weaknesses. Life 30 years later we are so caught up in "Online community" and social media. Without being preachy we need to bring back what we had in community 30 years ago. We need to bring back the sense of community of connecting with people. Learning how to listen to people and walk with them to remember that we live in a world away from our phones. In my last hob the staff room was always silent as everyone was glued to their phones. Very few people spoke and when they did it broke the silence almost felt wrong. To live in community is to live in a sense of family a sense of belonging a sense of connectivity. 

What I also learnt from this year is the fact that we worked with all walks of life I have developed the gift of being able to talk to many people from all corners life. St Vincent was a true inspiration.

 St. Vincent de Paul said, “The poor have much to teach you. You have much to learn from them.” As we speak and listen to the poor, we come to know God better and are humbled by the circumstances of others. By extending a helpful hand or lending an ear to the less fortunate, we show God’s love and acceptance of all.  There are many ways we can demonstrate this love and acceptance.  

We learn so much about ourselves from working and knowing the true nature of people by taking time to listen to understand to walk by. Spending a year in service where I put others before myself was something that I will treasure and try and live out today in my own way. I take the spirit of St Vincent with me as I journey through life. Today we would say we must be kind of others but what St Vincent was advocating what we did that year was to put love into action to place the poor and therefore Christ at the centre of all that we do. 

But all this experience and living and community is centred on the Spirituality of St Vincent de Paul. We gathered everyday for prayer and most days for Mass. These were and still are important times to stop and centre all that we do. Although I don't go to Mass as often as I do I still find the time everyday to pray or just be still and reflect on the people  I have  met or the work I do. This sometimes is on the train and bus to and from work. Even if we don't pray or believe in God  we can find the time to place ourselves in to stop and think and just be. I learnt that we all need a space to find our own spiritual way and our morals and our action come out of that spirituality. But St Vincent talks about putting love into action and that love has no option. What I found is that by putting love first in every job I have done we can really be open to learn and understand more about ourselves. But, it is only in times of reflection and stoping and breathing that I can understand what is happening and find our own spirituality. Within the mist of this spirituality we were encouraged to see everyone as a child of God. By doing this I was able to develop the skills of being able to talk to anyone and try my best to treat everyone with the dignity that they deserve. Putting love at the centre of everything we do even if its tidying the house or going for a walk we can truly adhere to the words of St Vincent that love has no option. To love is a challenge and it can only be done with time to reflect, pray and be.