Death in Lockdown

A few days ago I watched the BBC News to watch a very moving piece about  a Woman who had died whose family had placed a yellow heart in the window. They posted it on Facebook and it has been an opportunity for other grieving families to reach out and help each other through their difficult time. 

In my previous blog I mentioned the taboo about Death in society as a whole. I have witnessed many times the uncomfortable nature about talking about death. I remember one person telling me not to mention that their loved one had died that in fact they had just gone out into another room for a while. This was not the first time I had encountered peoples uncomfortable nature about death. I spoke to one lady a few years ago who had just lost her husband. I asked her how she was coping and how hard it was that they had died. She assured me it was ok and showed me her handbag. " Not a problem" she said " he's always with me he's never gone away" In side the handbag was her husbands ashes and they go and have tea everyday together. Feeling a bit strange I could also understand that it was this persons natural defence mechanism about the death of someone she loved very much. For others their defence is humour. They are ways of coping and each one in a sense in valid. 

 But, we need as a society to talk about death and its consequences. Maybe the lockdown and Covid 19 has made us think a little more about this subject. I know it has for me. 

I read the other day Bill Turnball  the radio presenter for Classic FM and one time breakfast TV host. talked about having a Healthy relationship with Death as he faces the prospect of his own death from Caner. One of the consequences of Covid 19 is that we have had to come to terms with the notion of death at a large scale. Something that as a whole this present generation has not had to deal with very much. There is a sense in society that we are masters of everything even death that the human race has all the answers. This crisis has taught us something different. We maybe for the first time in many household have been confronted with the nature of death. 

Having a discussion about death I feel is important it makes us realise that we are not on this planet for all that long. That maybe we need to take a leaf out of Bills book and have a more healthy relationship with death. That we can so easily waste out life dreaming or looking at the past and not focusing on the good things in life. That by having an adult conversation we can start to  look after ourselves better that we only walk this way once.

Maybe the one thing out of many things I have learnt about this time is that we can have a better relationship with death. That we can realise our own mortality ask the important questions of what happens after death. This very much depends on belief. I have realised that those with some sort of faith tend to have a better understanding and a more healthy relationship with death. It does not negate the hurt and the sense of loss but there is a natural support group even if it's just from a higher being.   I will explore this question in another blog. What I do know is that for those who have had a death in their own families of that it is certainly a new way of living and a new normal. This new normal is sometimes hard and challenging but it's something that we have to live with.

It raises an important question which I will look at soon which is the Covid 19 and the natural world and our relationship with it. 

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